I'll never talk again. I'll never love again.
when i smile at you, the only thing i get back is emptiness
* Thursday, July 8, 2010 around 1:58 AM-ish
currently emo-ing. kind of. ._. kind of angry too. today was a long day. i just wanted to get it over and done with. mistakes all over, i kind of regret some of it now, but they werent really my fault so yeah.
i was emo-ing for some time today but i guess it was partly cured by distract and laughter. i guess i could stop lying to myself and everyone now. i am sad. a smile and lies to cover it up , its getting repetitive , seems like i wont ever be able to really stop. i dont know why im taking this so seriously but i effing hate the way youre treating me, like im nothing, like i dont exist. when i pass you in the hallways you act like im not even there. how come it seemed so different before. its just so different, like maybe yeah do you even have the guts to say all those to me in public . i dont want to lose you but the way you look at me now, it just changes everything. and i try my best and give a smile, but you just ignore me and walk past me like im just some person you dont know. do you know how hard it is and how much it hurts. sorry if i took it to seriously but really i was in a bad mood these days so srsly, dont push me too far or i'll burst and just break down.
honestly i knew you never really loved me that way. like seriously, stop lying to me and to yourself. its just to obvious now, and thatt you dont even care about me anymore. just left me hanging out there. god. maybe u could be a little more understanding, you know, im a girl, its much different; you know they really need to feel special sometimes. yes i do hope you get that., but please. just. please.
was it something i didthat made you ignore me completely; did you know how i felt?completely isolated.
i guess now youre done with me once you have read this post. if you actually cared enough to read it.
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